A Good Day For A Ride

The former bicycle racer looked outside and thought, "It's a good day for a ride." The early morning sunlight reflected off the mountains, and the air was clean and still, but warm enough.

He hadn't been faithful the last few years - faithful to riding that was, and when he did get out, every ride felt like a first ride, a get re-acquainted ride. Sometimes his bicycle felt like a strange machine, twitching first left, then right, as he tried to recall how to relax and make it work. His pedaling came in fits and bursts, out of sync with his breathing, the bicycle, and the road.

This year, however, had been a little different. Not lots of riding, but more, and more frequently, and the rider and machine were starting to recall the dance they once knew. Coming down a slight grade onto the flat, he allowed himself the big chainring, and started pushing. The power was flowing in a continuous circle, his breathing was deep, steady. He reveled in the old feelings and sounds as the velocity induced headwind began whistling in his ears. "Yeah," he thought, "I can still do this!"

Lost in his exultation, he was taken by surprise as current bike racer pedaled fluidly, inexorably past him. His back flat, his arms relaxed, and his shaven calves pumping like two extra hearts to propel him at speeds long forgotten by former racer.

Former racer wasn't accustomed to being passed, and for an instant, he started increasing his pace, recognizing the implicit challenge of the other rider. Just as quickly, his body reminded him of his infidelity: The mounting burn in his legs, the increasing tempo of his breathing that threatened to spiral out of control. Chastened, he dropped his tempo back to what it had been, allowing the challenge to go unanswered.

"Oh well," he recalled. "Its still a good day for a ride."

A Little Humor

I'm usually serious, but once in a while, it's good to lighten up and laugh at yourself, your friends, and the world (best in that order: Your friends get less angry if you've already been laughing at yourself...)

Unfortunately, I'm not exactly long on comedic talent, however, there are those anonymous individuals who are and are willing to share with us! So, I share with you these funnies to chase away the summer doldrums...Laugh Away! (H/T Matt)

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!



And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

-- Author Unknown

Light Bulbs, Part 2

In January, I had to replace the halogen light bulbs on one of my vehicles. I opted for the whiter, higher Kelvin pair after reading the packaging and thinking that they would be noticeably brighter. Not that a 100K increase in whiteness would be all that great, but that packaging indicated that they would be 25-30% brighter. Turns out, they measure brightness against a worn out bulb, not a brand new one, so the increase in brightness is slight.

However, I just learned that the lifetime of the higher K bulbs in considerably shorter: Both bulbs are now burned out, after just 6 months!

Guess I'm going back to OEM - at least they last a few years!

What a racket.